Bringing Her Home

Whitney (11:21 am PST, Monday 6/13/22)

After 158 days, 42 surgeries and countless procedures in the Pediatric ICU, Pepper was finally discharged last Saturday. It was an exciting morning when Pepper woke up feeling better than she had in a few weeks. She specifically asked the Dr, “Can I go home today?” He was so happy to tell her Yes! 

It was a lot like bringing a new born baby home from the hospital for the first time. Overjoyed, proud, excited, and a bit nervous. I drove that minivan with both hands on the wheel and laser focus. We were bringing our girl home. 

She is different physically, emotionally, and mentally. We keep seeing glimpses of Pepper before the accident, but I think she will be changed forever in some ways. But with most change I’ve learned, the possibilities for an outcome are endless. 

It took me a few days to really let it sink in. When it finally hit me Friday night that she was home for good and we were all under the same roof again, I cried hard. In a way I was holding my breath. I was stifling feelings that I wasn’t ready to let my guard down for yet. I was just going, knowing that if I gave in to the exhaustion and worry at any point I wouldn’t be able to continue forward. 

Life somehow has so much more meaning. The big things don’t seem so big and important today. The little things are where it’s at. So friends today I breathed. I took a bath. I went grocery shopping for the first time since that night with all my kids. I listened to music and did a puzzle. I took a nap. I read books with Krew. I lived today. 

Sometimes we have to hold our breath, close our eyes, and hold on tight to our faith and just trust. That’s ok to get you through for a time. Just know you will breath again, one day.