Big Sister

Whitney (11:30 am PST, Sunday, 2/20/22)

Pepper is off to surgery #25 this morning. I’m sitting in her empty hospital room. I’m just thinking about the events of the night, 8 weeks ago. 

We still haven’t seen our two middle children since the accident. My heart aches for them. We will be reunited soon, plans are underway. 

I wanted to share some details that we haven’t shared yet. This is from Pepper’s perspective and maybe one day she’ll be able to share more detail and her own feelings. But for now I’ll share what I know. 

Pepper has always been a very mature girl. With a natural maternal instinct. She’s drawn to babies, and small children. But not only drawn to but could be fully trusted in her capabilities in caring for and loving a child from the age of 9. She’s special and I have no doubt will be one of the kindest mothers one day. 

She was a protector that night. When her daddy entered the bus she was seen standing between the flames and her 3 year old brother, Krew that night. Pushing him further to the back of the bus. She told me, “I was glad when I saw dad. I felt like my brothers were no longer my responsibility.” 

Kyle quickly picked up Krew and put his arm around Pepper. Pepper immediately started fighting him. Pushing against him trying to get out of his grasp. It was so loud in there with the flames, nothing was audible. And so black from the smoke, my husband once described it “a black hell”. Pepper was pulling herself to the back of the bus. In the struggle of trying to get away from her dad she tripped. Probably sustaining the worst burns to her arms and hands. Kyle then put her into a headlock and drug her to the stairs of the bus. 

In later discussion we found out that she was fighting desperately to get to the top bunk where she last saw her oldest friend and playmate Kade. He was reading his new Harry Potter book he’d received for Christmas. She was trying to get to him. Our beautiful 11 year old Pepper. In one of the most scary, chaotic, and hellish situations she has ever been in, was looking for a way to get to and protect someone else. She thought he was getting left behind. We didn’t know at the time in that very moment he was actually climbing out the window that his dad taught him to use in case of an emergency. 

We are reminded over and over of what a true blessing it is to have all 6 (7 with our dog) members of our family alive. Everything changed in an instant. As if you needed another reason to respect and love Pepper. There it is. She is a truly the epitome of Christlike love and sacrifice. We couldn’t be more proud of her. She is a natural protector. She sacrificed her own body for her siblings. She did that. She continues to live with the consequences of those choices from that night, daily.